When you want to bring a bit more excitement, curiosity and connection into your sex life, sex toys can be a wonderful way to explore together. They can add novelty, create more pleasure, and open up conversations you may not have had before. That said, with so many products out there, it’s completely normal to feel unsure about where to begin.
In this guide, we’ll walk through 12 of the best sex toys to try with a partner, along with some practical advice on choosing the right one for both of you and introducing it in a way that feels comfortable, respectful and fun.
Definition of Sex Toys
Before we get into the list, it helps to clarify what we mean by sex toys. Put simply, a sex toy is any item used to enhance sexual pleasure or arousal. That can include vibrators, dildos, sleeves, anal toys, bondage accessories and lubricant, as well as products designed for external stimulation, penetration or sensory play.
Sex toys can be used solo, with a partner, or as part of foreplay. They’re also available in a huge range of styles, sizes and materials, so there’s something to suit different bodies, preferences and levels of experience.
Benefits of Using Sex Toys with a Partner
Bringing sex toys into a relationship isn’t only about “spicing things up”, although they can certainly do that. They can also help couples slow down, get more playful, and discover what feels good in a more intentional way.
For many couples, toys create variety. If your intimate life has started to feel predictable, even a simple addition can make things feel fresh again. Trying something new together can also build trust, because it encourages honest communication about pleasure, comfort levels and boundaries.
Another major benefit is increased pleasure. Some toys offer types of stimulation that hands, mouths or penetration alone may not provide as easily. A vibrator, for example, can deliver steady and intense sensation, while a cock ring may add support and extra stimulation for both partners. For some couples, using toys can also make it easier to reach orgasm, reduce pressure, and shift the focus from performance to shared enjoyment.
Perhaps most importantly, using toys together can deepen intimacy. Exploring something new as a team can be exciting, vulnerable and genuinely bonding when you approach it with openness and care.
The Top 12 Sex Toys to Use with a Partner
Ready for the fun part? Here are 12 sex toys that can work beautifully in partnered play, whether you’re just starting out or keen to broaden your horizons.
Toy #1: Vibrators
Vibrators are one of the most popular sex toys for couples, and it’s easy to see why. They’re versatile, widely available, and come in everything from tiny bullet styles to larger wand massagers and wearable couple’s toys. They can be used during foreplay, oral sex, intercourse or mutual masturbation.
For couples, vibrators are especially useful because they can provide consistent stimulation to the clitoris, penis, nipples, perineum or other sensitive areas. They can also take some pressure off one partner to “do it all”, allowing both people to focus on pleasure and connection. If you’re new to toys, a small external vibrator is often an easy and unintimidating place to start.
Toy #2: Dildos
Dildos are designed for vaginal or anal penetration and come in a wide range of shapes, lengths, girths and materials. Some are realistic, while others are more abstract in design. You’ll also find versions with suction bases, curved shapes for targeted stimulation, or softer flexible materials for extra comfort.
With a partner, a dildo can be used during foreplay, alongside oral sex, or as part of role play and exploration. Some couples enjoy using one manually, while others pair it with a harness. If you’re choosing your first dildo, body-safe silicone is often a sensible option because it’s easy to clean, durable and comfortable to use.
Toy #3: Masturbation Sleeves
Masturbation sleeves are designed to fit over the penis and add extra sensation through texture, tightness or vibration. While they’re often marketed for solo use, they can be a fantastic toy for couples too. A partner can use the sleeve during hand play, foreplay or mutual masturbation, creating a new experience that feels different from manual stimulation alone.
They can be especially useful if you’re looking to mix things up without jumping straight into something more advanced. Plenty of sleeves are soft, discreet and straightforward to use, making them a beginner-friendly option.
Toy #4: Anal Toys
Anal toys are made specifically for anal play and include butt plugs, anal beads and prostate massagers. These toys are designed with safety in mind, which is why they have flared bases or secure stopping points to prevent them from slipping too far inside.
For couples who are curious about anal exploration, these toys can introduce new sensations in a gradual and controlled way. The key is to start small, move slowly and use plenty of lubricant, as the anus does not self-lubricate. Communication matters here more than ever, so check in often and never rush.
Toy #5: Cock Rings
Cock rings are worn around the base of the penis, and sometimes around both the penis and testicles, depending on the design. They can help support firmness and may heighten sensation during partnered sex. Some styles also include a vibrator positioned to stimulate a partner during intercourse.
For many couples, cock rings are appealing because they’re simple to use and don’t feel overly complicated. If you’re trying one for the first time, choose a soft and stretchy version rather than a rigid one, and make sure it feels comfortable rather than tight or restrictive.
Toy #6: Strap-Ons
Strap-ons include a harness and a dildo, allowing one partner to penetrate the other. They can be worn by people of any gender and can open the door to a wide range of new experiences, from pegging to role reversal to simply experimenting with different kinds of intimacy.
Because strap-ons can feel emotionally and physically significant, they tend to work best when there’s strong communication beforehand. Talk openly about interest levels, comfort, pace and expectations. Starting with a smaller dildo and a well-fitted harness can make the experience much more comfortable and enjoyable for both partners.
Toy #7: Ben Wa Balls
Ben Wa balls are small weighted balls designed to be inserted into the vagina and held in place by the pelvic floor muscles. Some people use them for pelvic floor awareness and strengthening, while others enjoy the subtle sensation they can create during movement, arousal or intimate play.
For couples, they can be incorporated into anticipation, foreplay or playful build-up before sex. They may also add a new sensory element during intimacy. If you’re interested in exploring this kind of toy as part of sex or foreplay, choose a beginner-friendly set that’s smooth, body-safe and easy to insert and remove.
Toy #8: Bondage Gear
Bondage gear covers a broad category of products used in BDSM play, including cuffs, blindfolds, ropes, collars and restraint systems. These toys focus less on direct genital stimulation and more on anticipation, power exchange, sensory play and trust.
For many couples, bondage can be exciting because it heightens awareness and encourages surrender, teasing and communication. However, it should always be approached thoughtfully. Establish clear boundaries, agree on what is and isn’t okay, and use a safe word or signal. If you’re just starting out, a blindfold or soft cuffs can be a gentle entry point without feeling too intense.
Toy #9: Nipple Toys
Nipple toys include clamps, suction devices, vibrators and other accessories designed to stimulate the nipples and surrounding area. Since the nipples are highly sensitive for many people, this kind of play can add a surprisingly intense layer of pleasure.
That said, sensitivity varies a lot from person to person. One partner may love firm sensation while the other prefers something very light. Start gently, communicate throughout, and choose adjustable or beginner-friendly products if you’re unsure. The goal is to build pleasure, not discomfort.
Toy #10: Massagers
Massagers are a brilliant option for couples because they blur the line between relaxation and arousal. Some are designed specifically for sexual use, while others can be used more broadly across the body before moving into more intimate areas. They can help create a slower, more sensual mood and make foreplay feel more connected.
You might use a massager on the shoulders, back, thighs or bottom before bringing it to more erogenous zones. This kind of gradual build-up can make the whole experience feel less mechanical and more intimate.
Toy #11: Lube
Lube may not always be the first thing people think of as a sex toy, but it can make a huge difference to comfort and pleasure. Lubricant reduces friction, helps toys glide more easily, and can make vaginal, anal and manual play feel smoother and more enjoyable.
There are different types to choose from, including water-based, silicone-based and oil-based formulas. Water-based lube is often the easiest all-rounder and tends to be compatible with most toys, while silicone-based options last longer but may not suit silicone toys. Choosing the right lubricant for the toy and activity is a small detail that can significantly improve the experience.
Toy #12: Kegel Balls
Kegel balls are often used interchangeably with Ben Wa balls, and they’re similarly designed to be inserted into the vagina and held by the pelvic floor muscles. Some are weighted, some are connected by a string or stem, and some are designed specifically for training and toning rather than sensation alone.
While they overlap with Ben Wa balls, many people still look for Kegel balls by name, especially if they’re interested in pelvic floor health as well as pleasure. In a partnered setting, they can be part of teasing, foreplay or body awareness, and for some people they help create stronger sensations during intimacy over time.
How to Choose the Right Sex Toy for You and Your Partner
With so many choices available, the best toy is usually the one that suits your comfort level, your body, and what the two of you actually enjoy. Instead of chasing trends, focus on what feels relevant to your relationship.
Here are a few things worth considering:
- Think about your shared preferences. Do you both enjoy clitoral stimulation, penetration, teasing, power play or slow sensual touch? A toy will be far more enjoyable if it lines up with what already turns you on.
- Choose body-safe materials. Silicone, stainless steel and borosilicate glass are often preferred because they’re non-porous and easier to clean. If you have sensitive skin, this becomes even more important.
- Consider your experience level. If you’re beginners, start with something simple and non-intimidating. There’s no need to jump straight into advanced toys if a small vibrator or soft cock ring would suit you better.
- Check compatibility with lubricant. Not every toy works with every type of lube. For example, silicone-based lubricant may damage some silicone toys, so always double-check.
- Set a realistic budget. You don’t have to spend a fortune to find something enjoyable, but very cheap products can sometimes fall short on quality and safety. Think of it as an investment in comfort, hygiene and pleasure.
- Read the practical details. Is it waterproof? Rechargeable? Quiet? Easy to clean? Sometimes the little features matter just as much as the toy itself.
How to Introduce Sex Toys into Your Relationship
If you’d like to introduce a toy into your relationship, the conversation matters just as much as the toy you choose. The best approach is usually calm, open and pressure-free. Bring it up outside the bedroom, when you’re both relaxed, and frame it as something to explore together rather than something that needs to “fix” anything.
You might say that you’re curious about trying something new, or that you think it could be fun to explore a certain kind of stimulation together. Keep the tone warm and collaborative. If your partner feels hesitant, listen without pushing. Sometimes people need time to think, ask questions or feel reassured that a toy is an addition to intimacy, not a replacement for it.
Here are a few tips to help things go smoothly:
- Start small. If toys are new for one or both of you, begin with something approachable, such as a bullet vibrator, soft blindfold or beginner-friendly cock ring. A positive first experience builds confidence.
- Use plenty of lubricant. Especially when using toys for penetration or anal play, lube can make everything feel more comfortable and pleasurable.
- Talk during the experience. Ask simple questions like “Does this feel good?” or “Do you want more or less pressure?” Gentle check-ins help both people stay relaxed and connected.
- Respect boundaries. Consent is essential at every stage. Either person should feel free to pause, stop or change direction without any awkwardness or guilt.
- Keep a sense of humour. Sometimes toys don’t work quite how you imagined, and that’s okay. If something feels a bit clumsy or silly, laugh it off and stay playful.
- Experiment and enjoy the process. Sex toys are meant to enhance intimacy, not create pressure. You don’t need a perfect performance. The real value comes from discovering what feels good together.
Ultimately, the best sex toys for couples are the ones that support pleasure, trust and communication. Whether you start with a vibrator, explore bondage gear, try a massage toy or simply add a quality lubricant to the mix, the goal is the same: to create more connection and enjoyment together.
With open communication, mutual consent and a bit of curiosity, sex toys can become a fun, exciting and deeply intimate part of your relationship. There’s no one right way to use them, only the way that feels right for the two of you.