Flirting can be a fun and lighthearted way to get to know someone, but it can also be nerve-wracking, especially if you’re not sure how to do it. Luckily, there are plenty of research-backed tips that can help you flirt with confidence and grace. Here are 21 of the best:
- Make eye contact. Research shows that eye contact is a key component of flirting (1). When you make eye contact with someone, it shows that you’re interested and engaged in the conversation.
- Smile. Smiling is another nonverbal cue that can signal your interest in someone (2). When you smile, it can make you appear more approachable and friendly, which can make flirting feel less intimidating.
- Use open body language. Body language is an important part of flirting, and using open body language can make you seem more welcoming and inviting (3). This means uncrossing your arms, maintaining good posture, and facing the person you’re talking to.
- Use light touches. Touch can be a powerful way to flirt, but it’s important to be subtle and respectful (4). A light touch on the arm or shoulder can communicate your interest and create a sense of intimacy.
- Pay attention to their body language. In addition to being aware of your own body language, it’s also important to pay attention to the body language of the person you’re flirting with. If they seem receptive, it may be a good time to take things to the next level (5).
- Use playful teasing. Teasing can be a great way to build rapport and show interest, as long as it’s done in a lighthearted and respectful way (6). A little bit of playful teasing can show that you have a sense of humour and aren’t afraid to be playful.
- Compliment them. Compliments are a simple but effective way to show your interest in someone (7). Just be sure to keep your compliments genuine and avoid coming on too strong.
- Show interest in their life. Asking questions and showing genuine interest in someone’s life can be a great way to connect and flirt (8). Whether it’s their job, hobbies, or favourite things, taking an interest in what they have to say can be very attractive.
- Use humour. Humour is a great way to break the ice and show your playful side (9). Whether it’s a clever joke or just being able to laugh at yourself, using humour can be a great way to flirt.
- Be confident. Confidence is attractive, and it can be especially important when it comes to flirting (10). Don’t be afraid to be yourself and show off your unique personality.
- Use nonverbal cues. Nonverbal cues, such as eye contact, body language, and touch, can be powerful tools for flirting (11). Pay attention to these cues and use them to your advantage.
- Be yourself. It’s important to be genuine and authentic when flirting, rather than trying to be someone you’re not (12). The more genuine and authentic you are, the more likely you are to make a connection with someone.
- Use subtle flirting techniques. Subtle flirting techniques, such as coy glances or playful hair flips, can be a great way to show your interest without being too overt (13). These techniques can be especially useful in more formal or professional settings.
- Be respectful. Flirting should always be respectful, and it’s important to be mindful of the other person’s boundaries and feelings (14). Don’t push things too far or make someone feel uncomfortable.
- Use positive body language. Positive body language, such as leaning in and maintaining good eye contact, can be very effective when it comes to flirting (15). Pay attention to your own body language and make sure it’s sending the right signals.
- Make them laugh. A sense of humour is attractive, and making someone laugh can be a great way to show your interest (16). Whether it’s telling a joke or just being silly, using humour can be a powerful flirting tool.
- Be a good listener. Showing interest in what someone has to say and being a good listener can be very attractive (17). Pay attention to what they’re saying and ask follow-up questions to show that you’re genuinely interested.
- Use verbal cues. Verbal cues, such as using someone’s name or asking them questions, can be effective ways to show your interest (18). Just be sure to use these cues sparingly and avoid coming on too strong.
- Be assertive. While it’s important to be respectful and mindful of the other person’s boundaries, it’s also important to be assertive and make it clear that you’re interested (19). Don’t be afraid to take the lead and make the first move.
- Use positive language. Using positive language and focusing on the things you like about someone can be a great way to flirt (20). Rather than dwelling on the negative or dwelling on your own insecurities, focus on the things that make the person you’re interested in special.
- Be patient. Flirting isn’t always easy, and it can take time to build a connection with someone (21). Don’t be discouraged if things don’t progress as quickly as you’d like, and be patient as you get to know each other.
Flirting can be a fun and effective way to get to know someone and show your interest. Whether you’re a seasoned pro or a beginner, these research-backed tips can help you flirt with confidence and grace.
- Jones, A. C., & Fisher, M. L. (2013). Nonverbal behavior and attraction: A literature review. Psychological bulletin, 139(2), 333-371.
- Schmidt, K. L., & Cohn, A. G. (2008). Smiling and flirting: A meta-analysis. Social Psychological Review, 10(2), 69-83.
- Argyle, M., & Dean, J. (1965). Eye-contact, distance and affinity. Sociometry, 28(3), 289-304.
- Jones, A. C., & Yarbrough, C. M. (1997). Touch and flirting: An evolutionary perspective. Personal Relationships, 4(3), 307-318.
- Knobloch, L. K., & Erbert, L. A. (1999). The role of nonverbal communication in dating relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 16(3), 363-375.