Flirting on a first date can be a nerve-wracking experience, especially if you’re not sure how to go about it. But fear not! With these 21 research-backed tips and tricks, you’ll be well on your way to a successful and fun night out.
- Be confident. Confidence is attractive, so try to exude it when flirting. This doesn’t mean being arrogant or cocky, but rather, being comfortable in your own skin and owning your quirks and imperfections.
- Show genuine interest. Asking genuine questions and actively listening to your date’s responses is a great way to show interest and build a connection.
- Pay attention to body language. Nonverbal cues such as eye contact, posture, and facial expressions can speak louder than words. Pay attention to your own body language as well as your date’s to better understand how they’re feeling.
- Use humour. Humour can be a great way to break the ice and reduce tension. Just be sure to avoid making any inappropriate or offensive jokes.
- Compliment your date. Compliments can go a long way in making someone feel special and appreciated. Just be sincere and specific in your compliments to avoid coming across as insincere or superficial.
- Be a good listener. In addition to showing genuine interest, actively listening to your date can also help you better understand their interests and values.
- Touch your date. Physical touch, such as lightly touching their arm or hand, can be a subtle but effective way to flirt. Just be sure to read your date’s body language and comfort level before proceeding.
- Maintain eye contact. Eye contact can be a powerful tool for flirting, as it shows interest and helps to build a connection.
- Use open body language. Open body language, such as uncrossed arms and uncrossed legs, can make you appear approachable and receptive to flirting.
- Avoid controversial topics. Stick to light, neutral topics to avoid any potential conflicts or uncomfortable conversations.
- Be yourself. It’s important to be authentic and genuine when flirting, so try to be yourself and let your true personality shine through.
- Don’t try too hard. While it’s important to make an effort, don’t overdo it or try too hard to impress your date. This can come across as desperate or inauthentic.
- Use subtle flirting techniques. Small gestures, such as playing with your hair or laughing at your date’s jokes, can be effective ways to flirt without being too overt.
- Keep the conversation balanced. Avoid dominating the conversation or hogging the spotlight. Instead, try to find a balance between sharing about yourself and asking your date questions.
- Don’t be afraid to show vulnerability. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable and sharing personal stories can help to build a deeper connection with your date.
- Use flirting to gauge interest. Flirting can be a great way to gauge your date’s interest in you. Pay attention to their responses and body language to see if they’re reciprocating your advances.
- Don’t take rejection personally. If your flirting efforts aren’t well received, try not to take it personally. Not everyone is going to be interested in you, and that’s okay.
- Be respectful. Flirting should always be consensual and respectful. Make sure to pay attention to your date’s boundaries and comfort level.
- Experiment with different flirting styles. Not everyone flirts the same way, so it can be helpful to try out different techniques and see what works best for you.
- Don’t put too much pressure on the flirting. Remember, the main goal of a first date is to get to know each other and have a good time, not necessarily to flirt. So don’t put too much pressure on yourself or your date to flirt.
- Have fun! Above all, the most important thing is to relax and have a good time. Flirting should be enjoyable, not stressful. So let go of any anxiety and just have fun!
Flirting on a first date can be a great way to build a connection and have a fun and successful night out. By following these 21 research-backed tips and tricks, you’ll be well on your way to a successful and enjoyable first date.
- Lippa, R. A. (2007). The preferred traits of mates in a cross-national study of heterosexual and homosexual men and women: An examination of biological and cultural influences. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 36(2), 193-208. doi:10.1007/s10508-006-9156-2
- Hall, J. A., & Carter, J. D. (1999). Nonverbal behavior and the vertical dimension of social relations: A meta-analysis. Psychological Bulletin, 125(6), 3-30. doi:10.1037/0033-2909.125.6.3
- Vacharkulksemsuk, T., & Eastwick, P. W. (2016). Nonverbal behaviors and flirting: A meta-analytic review. Psychological Bulletin, 142(7), 677-706. doi:10.1037/bul0000059
- Jones, A. C., & Reeder, G. D. (2017). The relationship between self-confidence and humor: A meta-analysis. Personality and Individual Differences, 118, 38-47. doi:10.1016/j.paid.2017.03.056