What is gaslighting?
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse in which a person manipulates and manipulates another person into doubting their own perceptions, memories, or judgement. It is a tactic that is used to gain power and control over the other person, often without them realising it.
Gaslighting can take many forms, such as denying events that have occurred, manipulating evidence, or even denying the victim’s own thoughts and feelings. It is a subtle and insidious form of abuse that can be difficult to spot, but it can have serious consequences for the victim’s mental health and well-being.
50 signs that your partner may be gaslighting you
- They constantly question your memories and perceptions.
- They deny events that you know took place.
- They manipulate evidence, such as by changing the story or altering documents.
- They make you doubt your own judgement by constantly questioning your decisions.
- They try to make you feel crazy or paranoid by saying that you are overreacting or misunderstanding things.
- They make you feel guilty or ashamed for expressing your feelings or opinions.
- They deflect blame and responsibility onto you.
- They manipulate you by playing on your emotions or using flattery.
- They try to control you by imposing rules or restrictions on your behaviour.
- They try to isolate you from friends, family, or other sources of support.
- They use your weaknesses or vulnerabilities against you.
- They make you feel like you are being unreasonable or overly sensitive.
- They use your own words or actions against you.
- They make you feel like you are being selfish or ungrateful.
- They make you feel like you are being paranoid or overthinking things.
- They try to make you feel like you are the problem in the relationship.
- They try to make you feel like you are not good enough.
- They constantly criticise or belittle you.
- They try to make you feel guilty for standing up for yourself or for setting boundaries.
- They try to make you feel like you are being too sensitive or emotional.
- They try to make you feel like you are being unreasonable or demanding.
- They constantly change their story or the facts of a situation to suit their own purposes.
- They refuse to listen to your perspective or acknowledge your feelings.
- They use your insecurities against you by playing on your fears or doubts.
- They make you feel like you are the one who is causing problems or conflicts in the relationship.
- They try to manipulate you by using your love or loyalty against you.
- They try to make you feel guilty for wanting your own space or independence.
- They try to control your behaviour or decisions by threatening to harm themselves or others.
- They try to make you feel like you are being overly needy or demanding.
- They try to make you feel like you are being too critical or judgmental.
- They try to make you feel like you are being unreasonable or unfair.
- They try to make you feel like you are being too sensitive or emotional.
- They try to make you feel like you are being ungrateful or unappreciative.
- They try to make you feel like you are being too controlling or possessive.
- They try to make you feel like you are being too suspicious or paranoid.
- They try to make you feel like you are being too clingy or dependent.
- They try to make you feel like you are being too pushy or aggressive.
- They try to make you feel like you are being too demanding or expectant.
- They try to make you feel like you are being too critical or judgmental.
- They try to make you feel like you are being too selfish or self-centred.
- They try to make you feel like you are being too negative or pessimistic.
- They try to make you feel like you are being too nosy or intrusive.
- They try to make you feel like you are being too rigid or inflexible.
- They try to make you feel like you are being too confrontational or argumentative.
- They try to make you feel like you are being too judgmental or critical.
- They try to make you feel like you are being too irrational or unreasonable.
- They try to make you feel like you are being too jealous or possessive.
- They try to make you feel like you are being too critical or perfectionistic.
- They try to make you feel like you are being too confrontational or aggressive.
- They try to make you feel like you are being too demanding or entitled.
What to do if you think your partner is gaslighting you?
If you suspect that your partner is gaslighting you, it is important to take action to protect yourself and your mental health. Here are some steps you can take:
- Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist. It is important to have a support system in place to help you navigate this difficult situation.
- Keep a record of events and conversations. This can help you to document the gaslighting behaviour and to have a record of what has happened.
- Set boundaries and communicate your needs clearly. It is important to let your partner know what you are and are not comfortable with.
- Seek professional help, such as therapy or counselling. A therapist or counsellor can help you to understand and cope with the gaslighting behaviour and to develop strategies to protect yourself.
- Consider ending the relationship. If the gaslighting behaviour continues despite your efforts to address it, it may be necessary to end the relationship in order to protect your own well-being.
Gaslighting is a serious form of emotional abuse that can have serious consequences for the victim’s mental health and well-being. If you suspect that your partner is gaslighting you, it is important to take action to protect yourself and seek support. By following the steps outlined above, you can work to address the gaslighting behaviour and take steps to protect yourself and your well-being. Remember that it is not your fault if your partner is gaslighting you, and it is important to prioritise your own mental health and well-being.
It is also worth noting that gaslighting can occur in other relationships, such as with friends, family members, or even in the workplace. If you suspect that someone else in your life may be gaslighting you, the same steps and strategies outlined above can be helpful in addressing the behaviour and protecting yourself.
If you are experiencing gaslighting or other forms of emotional abuse, it is important to remember that you are not alone and that there is help available. Don’t be afraid to reach out for support from trusted friends, family members, or professionals. With the right support and strategies, you can work to address the gaslighting behaviour and move forward in a healthy and positive way.
If you need to speak to a couple’s counsellor in Sydney for relationship advice, or wish to speak to our couple’s therapist in Melbourne, then we’re here to help. You can find more info in the menu.