Sexual performance anxiety is a common issue that can significantly impact a person’s sex life and overall well-being. It can lead to avoidance of sexual activity, difficulties with arousal and orgasm, and relationship problems. If you’re struggling with sexual performance anxiety, know that you’re not alone and there are steps you can take to overcome it. Here are some tips for improving your sexual experience and enjoyment:
- Communicate with your partner
Effective communication is key to a healthy and fulfilling sexual relationship. Talk to your partner about your concerns and listen to their perspective as well. It’s important to remember that sex is a two-way street, and both partners should feel comfortable and safe expressing their needs and desires.
- Seek therapy
If you’re struggling with sexual performance anxiety, consider seeking the help of a mental health professional. A therapist can help you work through any underlying issues and provide you with coping strategies. Therapy can be particularly helpful for addressing relationship problems or past trauma that may be contributing to your anxiety.
- Practice relaxation techniques
Reducing stress and practising relaxation techniques can be helpful for managing sexual performance anxiety. Consider trying deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or mindfulness meditation. These techniques can help you calm your mind and body and increase your overall sense of well-being.
- Try sensate focus exercises
Sensate focus is a technique developed by sex therapists to help people become more comfortable with their bodies and more aware of their own and their partner’s sensations. It involves a series of exercises in which partners take turns touching each other in a non-genital way, gradually increasing the intensity and duration of touch over time. This can help build trust, increase intimacy, and improve communication between partners.
- Don’t focus on “performance”
One of the main causes of sexual performance anxiety is the pressure to “perform” or meet certain expectations. It’s important to remember that sex is about pleasure and intimacy, not just achieving orgasm or meeting certain performance goals. Try to shift your focus from performance to pleasure and enjoy the experience.
- Explore what feels good
Take the time to explore your own body and discover what feels good to you. Masturbation can be a helpful tool for this, as it allows you to learn more about your own sexual responses and preferences. Communicate these findings with your partner and encourage them to do the same. This can help you feel more confident and in control during sexual activity.
- Try different positions or techniques
Experimenting with different positions and techniques can help you feel more relaxed and comfortable during sexual activity. It can also be a fun way to spice up your sex life and keep things interesting. Talk to your partner about what you both enjoy and be open to trying new things.
- Use lubrication
Lubrication can be helpful for reducing friction and increasing pleasure during sexual activity. If you’re struggling with arousal or experiencing discomfort, try using a lubricant. There are many different types available, so it’s a good idea to try a few and see what works best for you.
- Don’t compare yourself to others
It’s natural to compare ourselves to others, but it’s important to remember that everyone is different and has their own unique sexual experiences and preferences. Don’t compare your own sexual experiences to those of others or try to meet unrealistic expectations. Focus on your own pleasure and enjoyment.
- Remember that it’s okay to take a break
If you’re feeling overwhelmed or anxious, it’s okay to take a break from sexual activity. It’s important to prioritise your own well-being and listen to your body. It’s also important to remember that it’s normal for there to be ups and downs in any sexual relationship. If you’re experiencing a dry spell or a period of low desire, it’s okay to take a step back and focus on other aspects of your relationship.
Sexual performance anxiety is a common issue that can impact a person’s sex life and overall well-being. If you’re struggling with sexual performance anxiety, there are steps you can take to improve your sexual experience and enjoyment. By addressing and managing your sexual performance anxiety, you can enjoy a healthy and fulfilling sex life.